What Engineers really mean when they say:
1. "A NUMBER OF DIFFERENT APPROACHES ARE BEING TRIED" - We are still trying to figure out if it will work.
2. " AN EXTENSIVE REPORT IS BEING PREPARED ON A FRESH APPROACH TO THE PROBLEM" - We just hired three kids just out of college.
3. "Major Technological Breakthrough" - It works OK, but it looks very high tech.
4. "Customer Satisfaction is delivery assured" - We are so far behind schedule that the customer is happy just to get delivery.
5. "Preliminary Operational Tests were inconclusive" - The darn thing blew up when we threw the switch.
6. " Test results were extremely gratifying" - We were surprised that the stupid thing works.
7. " The entire concept will have to be abandoned" - The only person who understood the thing quit.
8. "It's in process" - It is so wrapped up in red tape that the situation is about hopeless.
9. "Please note and initial." - Let's spread responsibility for the screw up.
10. "Give us the benefit of your thoughts." - We'll listen to what you have to say as long as it does not interfere with what we have already done.
11. "Advanced Prototype" - Not interchangeable with the previous design.
12. "Rugged" - Too damn heavy to lift!
13. "Lightweight" - Lighter than rugged.
14. "Years of Development" - We finally got one to work.
15. "Energy Saving" - Achieved when the power switch is off.
16. "Low Maintenance" - Impossible to fix when broken.